Saturday, May 9, 2015

How to contact us...

If you arrived here, we're sorry to tell you that we don't post here all that much. We are WAY more active on our Fan Page and our author Facebook, where you can friend us. We also have a website where you can find out more information about our books and even purchase some swag. Come on over!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Different Faces

"There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -"The Love Song of J. 
Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot 

I've always loved that quote. A professor of mine in college offered it as a definition 
of persona. It resonated with me immediately. 

I have many different "faces," as I'm sure many of us do. And those faces morph 
and shift depending on the social group I'm with. This doesn't make me superficial or 
lacking in character (in my opinion). It makes me human. Humans have an innate social 
need to be accepted.  A fundamental desire to fit in. There is only one place where I let 
a lot of my "faces" slip, and it's oddly enough in the very place you'd expect 
it to be most prevalent: in my role as Elizabeth. 

My name isn't Elizabeth. Hayley's name isn't Hayley. But those personas are the truest we 
have.  What we post, what we claim, and how we interact with people are the most 
authentic when we are using our pseudonyms because weirdly, we have the most anonymity 
then. But this is a crazy concept. How are we the most real when we're the most 

The answer's simple: the women behind the curtain have no constraints because we still 
get to have the luxury of going out into the world, meet the faces that we meet, and do 
so without the judgment we'd surely receive if we spent 24/7 being Elizabeth and Hayley.  
Because let's face it-those bitches are nuts. 

So why the hell am I writing this?  I had no idea when I started really.  But as I type, 
I find that I have an overwhelming need to say thank you. Thank you for allowing us to be 
the most ourselves with you. Thank you for letting us drop the mask, and meet you all 
"face-to-face."  Thank you for allowing us to turn "there will be 
time" into this IS our time. Thank you for knowing us, and liking us anyway. 

Monday, March 17, 2014

My Writing Process- Blog Tour

Author Alison Bliss, a totally rocking writer and best critique partner on the planet, invited us to participate in the My Writing Process Blog Tour.  So here we are.  Alison's romance, Rules of Protection, will be released by Entangled Publishing in the summer of 2014.  Check out her website here: 

Our romance novels: Pieces of Perfect, Sex Snob, Picking Up the Pieces, and novella Perfectly Ever After are all available for download on Amazon.  And don't forget to follow us on Facebook.  We get into all kinds of shenanigans on there!

Okay, here are a few questions we were asked to respond to.  

1) What am I working on?

We're beginning to plot out our fifth book. It will be a slight departure from the characters we normally write. A little lighter in the sarcasm, but the humor will still be there. And our hero is going to be a hot as sin doctor. 

2) How does my work differ from others of its genre?

We're different in that we don't seem to fit into a particular genre. We don't follow conventional romance guidelines, and we're not quite explicit enough for erotica. We actually kind of pride ourselves on thinking outside of the box and giving readers a unique reading experience. 

3)Why do I write what I do?

Because we're dirty-minded little minxes. We're both very sarcastic and love to laugh, so the humor in our books flows naturally. And sex is a natural element in most adult relationships, so to write without it seems lacking in vital details. But mostly, we write what we'd love to read. 

4) How does your writing process work?

We plan out a few chapters at a time and then divvy them up. Once one if us completes a chapter, we edit the other's work. We write on Google Drive so that we can work on a document simultaneously. We go back and forth with comments until we're satisfied with the product. Next we share it with a critique partner or two and revise it again.  After we edit in Drive, we print the manuscript in hard copy.  Then it’s out to our beta readers, back to us for one more set of edits, and then out to the reading public!   

And that's our writing process! Now we want to introduce you to our author friends who will be discussing their writing process next week on March 24th.  Hope you love them as much as we do! 

Thanks for stopping by!

Elizabeth Hayley

MJ Carnal

MJ Carnal is a writer of Adult Fiction.  Born and raised in Ohio, she now resides in Lexington, SC.  Her passion is writing and she loves to live in the world she creates.  Her Moretti Novels are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and iBookstore.


Facebook: www.facebook/mjcarnalauthor 

Twitter:  @mjcarnalauthor

Melissa Joseph

I'm the author of the 'Reunion Series' Books and the upcoming new series "The Sandy Cove Series" Mom by day, writer of contemporary romance by night. 



Twitter: @redkar_m

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Special Delivery

As the sun disappeared and dusk settled around me like a warm blanket, I pondered many things: why the world had to be so cruel, how we could continue to co-exist in a world that was becoming shrouded in a technological haze, and similar, deep life questions. However, the most prominent on my mind on this warm summer night was how I was going to raise seven puppies on my own. 

     I hadn't asked for this. This life-altering event that was both a blessing and a curse. When I had gone to the doctor for stomach pains eight weeks ago, I had never expected to be referred to a veterinarian. But I didn't question it, since I wasn't a doctor, and my general practice physician, well, was.

     So I made an appointment with Dr. Slater. Her office was slightly confused as to why a human needed an appointment, but I assured them that my regular doctor had insisted and would fax over the necessary paperwork that would explain my condition.

    I arrived at the vet a few days later. Dr. Slater had already reviewed the paperwork and seemed excited to meet me, though I couldn't fathom why. I was nothing special. Just a middle-aged woman with stomach pains. Nothing more. 

     I was surprised to see her wheel in an ultrasound machine, but didn't ask about it. I figured she would fill me in when the time was right. After she had put gel on my tummy, she touched the machine to my stomach and began to move it around on my skin. 

     "Holy shit!" Dr. Slater exclaimed. 

     I was taken back by her sudden outburst. Was that normal behavior for a vet?   I looked at the screen and saw quite a few round masses in my stomach. I was horrified!  It couldn't mean what I thought it did, could it?

     I finally decided to speak on my own behalf. "Dr. Slater, I can assure you, I have never eaten a rock in all my life. Aliens must've descended upon me in the night and implanted them. Ooh, do you think they could be moon rocks?  Or something indigenous to their home planet?"

     She eyed me curiously for a moment, her mouth agape. "No, Miss Linfield," she said slowly. "Those aren't rocks. They're puppies."

     I scoffed at her. There was no way I had puppies in my belly. Clearly, they were alien rocks. "That's preposterous. I don't even own a dog."

     "I'm not sure how it happened, Miss Linfield, but you are a marvel of science. The first human to ever incubate another species. We must run some tests."  Dr. Slater began tearing around the room, pulling open drawers and calling for nurses. 

     Every test they conducted only served to further confirm Dr. Slater's original prognosis. I, Miss Zarcy Linfield, was pregnant with six puppies of undetermined breed. 

     I begged the doctor to keep my condition under wraps. I did not want my unborn canine offspring tainted by a media halestorm. I was under enough stress as it was. A single mother trying to raise seven puppies was a future I didn't foresee for myself. 

     Dr. Slater agreed as long as I consented to her writing about my story after the puppies had matured, and would therefore be able to handle any unwanted attention they may receive. 

     I also had the sticky situation of trying to figure out what I would tell my darling puppies about their father. As far as I knew, I'd never even met him. Should I make up come grand tale about how he had wooed me over a Milkbone and some Beggin' Strips so the pups would take pride in him?  I could add that he had died an honorable death as a bomb-sniffing dog in Iraq. Every dog wanted a hero for a father. 

     I went to my weekly vet appointments, and the puppies continued to grow. Slightly concerned, I did ask Dr. Slater whether or not I would grow extra teats to feed my newborn pups, but she just muttered under her breath. I guess I'll just have to figure it out on my own. 

     So as I sit on my back patio, resting Marley and Me on my round belly, I can't believe all that I have gone through. I will be induced in a few days, which fills me with both excitement and anxiety. I can not wait to meet the fruit of my loins, but I also know that the hard part is still to come. I will need to raise these puppies to become outstanding citizens. And I will need to do it alone. 


The big day arrived quicker than I expected. I was induced in the morning and was excited to finally meet my little ones. I gave birth in a veterinary hospital, but my obstetrician was on hand, since they decided that a C-section would be the safest birthing option for me and the babies. Uh, I mean puppies. 

    After the spinal took effect, I felt like I was floating atop a cloud. It was a magical way to welcome my children into the world. I felt a little pressure as they made their incision, but nothing too terrible. 

     Suddenly I heard the obstetrician exclaim, "Holy fuck, there really are puppies in here." 

     I really didn't want my puppies around such horrid language, but I was too full of euphoria to complain. As they extracted my darling cherubs from my uterus, they quickly whisked them off to check their vitals. I was a little sad I didn't get to play with them, but I appreciated the doctors caring for them so thoroughly. 

     I was, however, flabbergasted when I saw a nurse bottle feeding one of my puppies. "Hey!  I planned to nurse them," I complained, close to tears. 

     Dr. Slater approached me and put a hand on my shoulder. It was a comforting gesture, even though her nails dug into my blade and her voice sounded like a hiss, which I assumed was due to her overwhelming happiness for me. "You can't nurse them, Zarcy. They need special milk. Besides, you won't produce enough for all of them."

     I was devastated. My milk was special. I was their mother!  But I kept quiet and sulked privately. 

     Once I had been sewn up, they allowed me to see my puppies. They said they were "mutts," which I thought was a cruel way to refer to such perfect little fuzzy beings. I decided to name them after foods I had craved while pregnant with them. I named the small black one JalapeƱo Popper, the white one with the brown spots YooHoo, the black and white one Asparagus, the brown one Cow's Tongue, the yellow and white one Movie Theater Butter Popcorn, the gray and black one Swedish Meatballs, and the white one with blue patches on his eyes Kentucky Fried Chicken. 

     The doctors tried to convince me to let them raise them, but I was adamant. I was going to do right by my puppies, no matter how many trials and tribulations I faced. I would be a successful single mother. And I would raise successful puppies, who would go on to accomplish great things, like being seeing eye dogs, police dogs, actors, or water rescuers. Nothing would stand in our way of being the happiest family on earth. I'd see to it. 

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Going to the Philly Author Fest November 8, 2014!  Stop by and say hello.  Our home town!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Check us out tonight from 6-9 EST on Authors Take Over.

Here's what's on the agenda:

  • Hot Rod updates--if he were real ; )
  • List of some insane scavenger hunt we got roped into doing
  • Fact or Fiction--find out what's based on real life and what we completely make up for our books
  • Never Have I Ever
  • Hot Guy Poker--find pic of hot guys on the internet and see who finds the hottest ones
  • Ideas for our farce
  • Best songs to get freaky to
  • Two truths and a lie
  • Taking requests for hot scenes to be written into future books
  • Announcing the winners of our awesome drawings and the raffle 
  • Plus much, much, more...

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Who wants to download Sex Snob for free and then enter to win a signed paperback copy??!!

This Thursday, November 21st for its release, Sex Snob will be free for 24 hours. 

There are two ways to enter to win a signed paperback. 

1. On Sunday, November 24 at 9 AM, we will be posting 10 questions about the book on our author page. The first person to message us back with the correct answers wins a signed paperback copy. This contest is for people who haven't received an ARC. But you can enter to win with the contest below.

2. If you leave a review of Sex Snob on Amazon, message us with your Amazon name. At 5 PM on Sunday, December 1, we will pick a random winner from the reviews. Anyone can participate in this contest, even people who received an ARC.

Good luck, readers! Thanks for your support!